Day 2

 10 things you do every single day

1. Get out of bed
2. Brush teeth
3. Shower
4. Drink
5. Eat
6. Text people
7. Have a phonecall
8. Talk
9. Listen to music
10. Breathe.

Ten Things Ten Day Challenge

Day 1 - 10 things about your appearance, (clothes, face, hair, height, smile, piercing’s, tattoo’s).

1. I have blue/green eyes,
2. I have long curly hair,
3. I'm small,
4. I don't wear much makeup
5. I'm quite tanned (at the moment).
6. One piercing in each ear.
7. I like to wear colourful and pretty things
8. I have a few freckles on my nose during summer when the sun is out.
9. Apparently I look like Katie Melua
10. I have dark brown hair.

Good Things do Happen.

It has been two and a bit weeks since my last blog post where I wrote about how me and Tom broke up, it was difficult for both of us as none of us wanted it. Tom kept talking to me which made it harder, and after the second attempt of suggesting to him that we have no communication for a couple of days, he agreed to it, and it worked, we had three days of not talking, and he realised that the doubts weren't with 'us' and that he did miss me.

We both thought that things would take a while to get back to normal, but they really haven't taken a while at all, things were back to normal if not better straight away, and thats what I love about us, we never argue, nothing is a struggle, yes there is a problem with distance but that isn't a problem with us as a couple.

I can see why he was scared, I'm scared too, it is getting serious. I've only had one relationship before, it lasted four and a half years but in terms of how well the relationship worked it was nothing compared to how well me and Tom work together so I guess the fact that we are working so well is obviously a very good thing but it can also be a bit scary because I don't think I've ever felt this content with someone before, I'm not sure why that should be scary, I know what I'm thinking I just can't put it into words.

Call me soppy, but I'm just speaking the truth, this is probably the most happiest I've been with life in general. My confidence has grown so much.

"Pour a little salt, we were never here" (the lyrics from Skinny Love) - It was a bad time for us but it really does feel like it never happened, time heals as they say.

Overall things are amazing at the moment, the sun is shining I had a great day with friends last weekend and things are generally looking up!!

The End?

Usually it's me giving advice, but I could really do with some myself right now. Yesterday my boyfriend broke up with me, I was expecting it as he's been having doubts about whether it will work long term and we've discussed the options over and over again for several weeks now. When I found out I tried so hard to stop myself from crying as I was at work, I just felt all shaky and horrible, but the tears came out a little when a work friend asked if I was ok, and said I looked 'pale'. A child put a book in front of me and said 'what's that?' I gave a snivelling reply of  'it's a duck' - it must have sounded like I was traumatised about the fact that there was a duck on the page.

The thing is ... he didn't want to end it, he just doesn't know that 'our situation' will work long term, and in a way that makes it harder. I know it's hurting him, and that hurts me even more. He keeps texting, and today he asked me to please wait for him while he has time to think. I said yes but I need time apart to come to terms with things being over - meaning no communication, he then replied with - 'maybe we can go without talking untill this evening' and when I said i'm talking about a few days, he didn't like the sound of that and after a few messages, said 'but you might have found someone else in a few days'.

I can't get over this knowing there's still a chance for us both, but at the same time, I don't want to get my hopes up to just get knocked down again :(.

How can I let him go when the feelings still exist for both of us. He knows, and I know that what we had was good. I just thought it was worth fighting for ...