Sandwiches, Vampires, and Rubbish Sex.

Last night I dremt that I was a Vampire. In this dream my morning alarm was going off, but I didn't need to get up because of my Vampire lifestyle. After half an hour of subconsciously putting my alarm on snooze, I realised that I was in actual fact still human and I needed to wake up as today was the day I had to do my 'Children's World's' presentation.

I'm writing the content of this blog on the train in hope that I will distract myself from the urge of eating my sandwich at ten past nine in the morning, so far it isn't working.

Lately I've been watching Vampire Diaries - which probably explains my dream about being a Vampire. This series, has made me think back to Twilight (eclipse) and how unrealistic is. Yes, I understand that the fact it has Vampires and Werewolves in the film is what makes it unrealistic in the first place, but I am talking about the love story behind it, thats what I find really hard to understand. In this film, Bella - Edward's (the Vampire) girlfriend, but also dated Jacob (the Werewolf)  is seen by Edward kissing Jacob. Edward stands there, watches and does nothing and then returns to Bella as though nothing happened, as though she didn't just snog the face of another guy. In reality this would not happen, it would set the sparks flying in a normal person let alone in a so called Vampire. I know that people say if you love someone, you'd forgive them for anything, but I disagree, if you love someone this would hurt like hell, to the point where you could no longer be the same around them, in some cases, you might think you have forgiven them but the reality is, you'll never fully trust that person ever again.


On the platform waiting for the train home, there were two girls and a boy - whom I can only assume by the way they were touching, was one of the girls boyfriends.  They were stood some distance from me, but were talking reasonably loudly about sex positions. The girl with the boyfriend proceeded to say to her friend 'we tried this position the other night and he really failed hahahaha' she then turned to her boyfriend, laughed and then apologised but said she tells her best friend everything ... Well ... not only did you tell your best friend, you also shared your boyfriend's sexual incapabilities with the entire platform love!

I felt sorry for the boy as he stood there with embarrasment written all over his face as his girlfriend was criticising his manhood in front of everyone.

P.s I couldn't resist the temptation of the sandwich and at about half past nine I ate it.

Self-Evaluation Challenge

1. What do you like most about your physical appearance?

I'd probably say my hair, it's what makes me different.

 

2. What do you dislike most about your physical appearance?


I wouldn't say I'm overly attractive, yet I can't think of something I dislike. I guess i'm just glad i'm healthy.

3. Describe your personality in 3 words.

Friendly, Caring, Funny - although I don't actually mean to be funny, I guess my stupidity amuses people.

4. How do your friends describe your personality?

Cute, Friendly and a while ago possibly shy but recently I think they would agree in me saying that thats changed.

5. Would you consider yourself a nice person?

Yes. I like to see the good in everyone.


6. How do you see yourself physically in 10 years?

Well i'd like to think i'd still have my figure, but I'd also like to have a couple children by then so I can't see that happening.

7. How do you see your personality/character in 10 years?

Probably the same, but with different priorities. I'd like to see myself as a good mum to a couple children in 10 years time.

8. Does your personality match your star sign?

Yes i'd say so, Virgos are considered overactive thinkers, I definitely think way too much.

9. Have you ever tried to change yourself to fit in?

When I was a teenager yes, but now i'd never change myself for anyone.

10. What are you thinking right now?

How good my life is at the moment and hoping that the future will be just as good.

11. What goes on in your mind on a day to day basis?

Happy thoughts.

12. Make a list of 5 things that are worrying you most lately.

Uni work

Future career

December 21st 2012 - The day the world is predicted to end.
Losing people

13. Make a list of how you will resolve your 5 worries.
Work harder
Look into options.
Just hope that it doesn't.
Hold on to the people I care about.

14. Who are you?


I'm Ella.

15. What have you learned from this challenge?


I've realised how positive I've become lately.

Blue Monday

Today is supposed to be the most depressing day of the year, also known as Blue Monday, based on the fact that theres miserable weather, lots of debt and broken new years resolutions, but do I feel depressed or even remotely sad? No. In fact I couldn't be happier. Yes it's raining, cold and dull outside and I've spent a hell of alot of money recently, but it doesn't effect me in the slightest. I don't believe that there is such a day as the most depressing day of the year, simply because it doesn't have to be depressing, it can be want you want it to be. I read somewhere that the most miserable man they knew was happy today - reading this made me smile.

So if your feeling sad because this day is classified as the most depressing day of the year, it's really not, not generally speaking anyway, it is what you want it to be, nothing else.

Because I know your reading this right now ... Your Special to me :).

Never doubt your freedom, you create your own destiny.

I have never been more sure about anything than I am about my life right now, which is why I've learnt that if something in life seems difficult but at the same time feels right you should stick to it and make it work.

I have a really good feeling about this year, it has potential and I have a feeling it's going to be different, I'm not sure how, or why I even think that, but it's just a feeling I have inside. The other day Tom said to me that he knows I was upset when my ex split up with me, but that maybe it was meant to happen so that I could meet him, I think that is true, who knows what the future holds but one thing I do know is that no matter what happens long term, we'll stay friends. I'm not sure if I believe in fate completely, but I believe that in life you make descisions that determine what happens which might make you think that it isn't fate because we control what happen, but maybe we were destined to make those decisions. Either way I always say:

'Never doubt your freedom, you create your own destiny'.

For example, a child of a poor family may think that they are destined to be poor but that is far from the truth, because you may think you are set out to be or do one thing, even if you do not want to be or do that, but in fact you're not, anything is possible, you create your own future, you just need to believe in yourself, and do what you think is best for you. It is the freedom of doing what you want and how you want in order to be the person YOU want to be.

New Year New Start.

A new year has begun, and already I feel better, it isn't like I needed a new start because afterall the end half of last year was amazing, but with the start of 2011 I can finally say bye to all the worries in 2010 and focus on 2011 being full of just the people who are worthy of my company. I don't really have many ambitions for 2011 apart from to live, love, and be happy, which so far I am fulfilling. I feel I am a much more confident person now then ever before, I have the most fantastic friends and family who are always there to make me smile and have a laugh with and an amazing boyfriend who although we don't see each other much and it's not how I see an ideal relationship too be, I can't hide or lose the way I feel about him.