Wild Horses

I've just been listening to a song named wild horses, this song for me is probably one of the most emotional songs in terms of lyrics, as I feel I can relate to it alot.

It's a song about wanting to be free and not having to worry about things that may stop you from doing things or making desicions about your life. I'm guessing that almost everyone has probably experienced this feeling, the feeling of saying no to something for fear of something going wrong, the feeling of not being able to do what you would like to do for fear of hurting others or yourself.

I think the meaning of this song for me is to take life as it comes, don't miss out on any chances and don't let anything or anyone hold you back. I sometimes worry about getting hurt again but i've come to realise that lifes too short, and if you've got even just a slight incline that somethings going to make you happy, then you should go with it. Otherwise, you'll always be left with the question of

What If?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OWIVi_Oa4as

Another Day.

I'm feeling quite tired today after being woken up by the strangest of noises at 4 o'clock this morning. I was lying in bed asleep when I got woken up by what I can only assume to be a man making these weird noises really loudly. This went on for ages, so I decided to look out of my window where I saw a huge beam of light from a torch shining across the field whilst the man was still making these noises, the light from the torch was making its way to my direction so i quickly closed the curtains and tried to sleep again :). I'm guessing that he was moving the 200 odd cows to the other field ... rather him than me is all I can say.

But with the lack of sleep i'm still having quite a productive day :D.

Back to Uni.

Well it looks like the summers over, most people have already gone back to uni, and soon it will be my turn. I'm looking forward to going back but at the same time, I've had such an amazing time this summer with friends at home, from nights out to random cinema trips, organised by my friend Hannah who managed to get all of us to go and see a film that all but two were way too scared to see. Funny thing was I couldn't stop laughing through most of it. If anyone else has seen the Last Exorcism I think you'll agree that the first part was so stupid it was funny.

Life in the Country

This is a photo I took about a ten minute walk away from my house whilst on a walk with my mum. I find myself taking lots more photos now i'm living in the country, in fact I don't ever remember taking any photos on a day to day basis apart from when i've been on holiday.

I actually love living here, even though sometimes it's hard to get places as I can't drive just yet its far away from everything and I like that :).

Everyday when i'm not working I walk down to see the ponies down the road :) they've got used to me now which is nice, theres about 20 of them in this field, but it always seems to be the same few that come to see me. It's always the same one that makes sure she's the first one at the gate to see me, she'll even race the others to get there first. She's either extremely fat, or pregnant. I'm hoping she's pregnant then hopefully she'll bring her baby to come and see me :).

This is one of them, you can probably guess that this isn't the one thats possibly pregnant.



Life is like a Rainbow.

You might be wondering why the name of this blog is 'Life is like a Rainbow' well it's because recently I came up with a quote that i feel is very true:

'Life is like a Rainbow, you need to experience some of the good and the bad in order to create something beautiful.'

There are times in life when things may seem so tough that there can't possibly be any positives about the situation, but its the hard times aswell as the good times, that shape us into the person we are today. And in time all the positive and the negative experiences will come together and form a lifestyle that you are most content with. 

Which reminds me, I was unpacking my room a couple of weeks ago and came across a poem that was given to myself and my tutor group at school, from our tutors wife when our tutor passed away. I find it really inspirational :)

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest, if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up though the pace seems slow--
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than,
It seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up,
When he might have captured the victor's cup,
And he learned too late when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out--
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far,
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit--
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.



Moving on.

Well just before my life started changing I was sat in the staff room at work, picked up a magazine and read my horoscope for 10th July 2010 and this is what it read:

Your perspective on life is about to alter dramatically, prepare to feel able to stand back from something you've been too close to and regain strength. 

I've never read a horoscope thats been so close to the truth as this one, or maybe it was these words that made me realise I had to move on. And within time thats exactly what I did.

On the 31st of July, I was invited to a party at someones house who I didn't know, in fact I only knew one of the people who was going, and I almost didn't go for that reason. I really enjoyed that evening, I met some really nice people and I felt like I had some confidence back. After the party we went into town, which is where I met someone who happens to make me really happy.

It was then that I realised that you should never miss out on any chances in life, because you never know what might happen.

So since that night, I made a pledge to myself to say yes to as many things as possible and because of this, life is so much more fun!

Another thing i've realised is ... your only young once, so live the life you've always dreamt of and always remember

'It's never too late to become the person you might have been' - George Elliot.

How do you get up from an all time low.

Well three months have gone past without hearing a single word from my ex, and i'll let you into a secret, I could not be happier. I am finally doing something that I should have done a long time ago, enjoying myself, rather than dedicating my whole entire time to someone who definately didn't deserve it.

At the time I thought I'd never get over it. But with support from family and friends I came to realise that I deserve better. I also had quite a bit of interest from other guys, which i definately did not expect as I didn't think highly of myself at all, but that may have been partly due to having a boyfriend that called other girls beautiful rather than me.

I was beginning to spend alot more time with friends, and I perhaps didn't appreciate them as much as I should have before, because i gave up pretty much all of my time for my ex. But I couldn't ask for better friends and family!

I also read something this evening that I was able to reflect on, and i believe its something that is true for everyone:

'The trick is to recognize when a good-bye can be a good thing - when it's a chance to start again'.

I feel i've started again, and I like this new start, I'm alot happier and alot more confident. We all go through events that change our situation and in turn can change who you are as you have to adapt to the new situation. It sounds funny but at 20 years of age I feel I am still learning things about myself. Lately I've learnt that I am capable of alot more things than I originally thought I was. I've learn't who's important and who's not, and what matters and what doesn't. I feel as though i'm alot calmer and I believe thats mostly due to moving to the country, its so peaceful and I find it alot easier to express my feelings here, whether it be through words or even writting. I put my confidence down to many things from experiencing more things and generally going out and enjoying myself more to being made to feel special by people.



It's not the end.

I'm Ella-Louise, but everyone calls me Ella :) or sometimes I get called El, or by family and people close to me its Ella Bella :D and i've just recently turned twenty. Recently i've felt inspired to start writing my feelings on life and my life experiences and I thought why not share it with everyone :).

A couple of months ago, I went through something, which now seems minor compared to what other people have to go through. But at the time it felt like the worst thing ever. Ive come out the other end now and I feel im stronger as a person, which is why I'd like to share my story.

It started off as a really nice morning, the sun was out and it would have been the perfect day to spend at the beach. So I text my boyfriend of four and a half years asking if he'd like to spend the day doing something nice as it was a really hot day.

The reply I got was:

Thank you very much, youve done a brilliant job in waking me up. I didn't get home till 3 this morning. Im not driving you anywhere now.

At first I thought it was a joke untill he didn't speak to me for the rest of the day. Sounds childish right? Well he's 23, clearly he needs to do some growing up.

Well for the millionth time I let him walk all over me and I apologised. He had none of it, and thats when I got the text saying we were finished, explaining that everything was my fault.

I knew something wasn't right and I had a instinct that the only explanation that it could be was that he was seeing someone else, because as far as I was concerned we were happy, and I know I shouldnt have, but I checked his emails, which is where I found emails from his 'new' girlfriend. Turns out all it took was a couple pictures of a girl in her underwear and he was off.

So yes I was cheated on, and a horrible text was all i got after 4 and a half years, a text that read 'Don't you get it Ella were finished, get over it.'

I wasn't a very confident person anyway but this just made me feel worthless. I loved him so much and to know that he didn't care about me enough to break up with me in person destroyed me. I'd understand it if i was really horrible, but I did everything for him, and anybody that knows me will know that i've never got a bad word to say about anyone.

I cried everyday for almost 3 weeks, I couldn't eat properly in fact I ate hardly anything and I was loosing so much weight when I really didn't need to, I had all the support around me yet I felt so lonely, all I wanted was him back in my life.