Alot has happened since the last time I posted something on here. Feelings have changed, and things have happened, despite these changes in feelings, nothing in my life has actually physically changed. We all go through different stages of life, we experience different things that shape who we are to today, I can name a number of things that have changed the person i've become. For example, being in a long-term relationship made me grow up alot quicker, coming out of one made me realise that I need to slow down, friends are important, recently i've made so many friends and if i'm completely honest if I was still in the relationship I was in I would have never of met them. We all get physically older but it's how you grow emotionally that really matters. If theres one thing i've learnt from life, its that you should never look back on your life and think, I wish I had done things differently.
I've been questioning my thoughts and feelings on something recently and I feel it's important I make the right choices as its often the hardest decisions that are the most important. One of my sayings in life is never miss out on any chances, but how is it possible to know which chances to take and which to avoid? Do I wait around for the person I like and hope their feelings get stronger and they end up wanting what I want? Or do I end it and hope that someone who does want the same thing comes around. I've gone with the first option, because already he means alot to me and if theres a chance of something more then maybe thats a chance I should take, rather than throw that away and go for someone who might not even want that either.
I was having doubts a couple weeks back, there was a guy I was speaking to called Ben who I liked before I met Tom, and as he's had more experiences in relationships and probably wanted the same thing, I was questioning whether I should meet up with him like he wanted. I'm pretty much incapable of making decisions completely by myself, and I thought to myself I wish someone could give me a sign. A few days later I got home to an email from his girlfriend that he never told me about. I asked for a sign, and I couldn't have got a better one!
I like the person i've become, but theres definitely something missing, but with hope, something will fill that gap. Because with hope, theres possibility :).
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